I Wish We Were All Color Blind

I vividly remember the first time I explained to Ana Maria that people had different color of skin. She had come home so excited to let me know that there was a new student in her class and that she had made friends with her so that she wouldn’t be alone at recess. This is the kind of girl my first born is. She’s the kind of girl who accepts and loves everyone, equally, no matter what. Sometimes we tease her and ask her who she loves more, mommy or daddy. She always gets uncomfortable and says she loves us both the same. 

When I asked her what her new friend was like, she immediately said “she’s very nice,” I kept asking questions like did she move from somewhere else in the city or is she from another city? She said she was from another country but couldn’t remember which one. I then naively asked her what she looked like. She said “I don’t know.”  She didn’t seem to have any idea how to begin to describe her. Somehow she finally said she looked like another friend, who is African American. 

So I asked her “is her skin black” and she looked at me puzzled, she then said “I don’t know!” So I went on to ask her if her friend’s skin was darker than mine and hers, she kind of closed her eyes to remember what she looked like and she said “yes” almost like a light went on in her little head. I then realized that we had never spoken to her about differences of people’s skin. 

We had mentioned how Jordan Grace was difference because she has Down syndrome, but even when we tried to explain to her that she was different she kept asking how was she different, she couldn’t grasp that she looked different than anyone else, she had hair, she had eyes, she had arms, I mean she looked like us, she looked like a little girl to her. And when I tried to explain to her that people would see the difference even though she didn’t see it, she said “so what if she’s different” it really didn’t matter to this big girl who had been begging for a little sister in her life. 

Ana Maria has grown up in a very culturally mixed school, which has been such a blessing. The fact that it took her until she was in 4th grade to realize people had different skin colors, I mean, I don’t think she’s color blind, but rather innocent at heart to see any difference. Her very best friends and who she always wants to be around is this very friend we speak of here along with another sweet little lady who is Philippine, and another who is part East Indian. I love that about my precious girl, she bases love on a person’s heart, not where they come from or the color of their skin. 

I wish we could all be this innocent and pure at heart, I wish we were all color blind to people’s skin and I wish everyone was accepted and included no matter what they looked like. Maybe one sweet day...

Believing in magic

I have a precious 10 year old who still believes in all kinds of magic. She’s the kind of girl who believes in fairytales, who still looks forward to the magic of Santa Claus, who believes in the elf on the shelf, she loves magic shows, and learning tricks to share. She’s the kind of girl who believes all people are good and sometimes when things happen in this world, we have to remind her that bad people actually exist, her puzzled look and question is always “why” she can’t comprehend cruelty, tragedy and evil. 

Tonight she lost her 8th or so tooth. And so I’m always amazed of the beauty that she savors the process of losing a tooth, placing it under her pillow and waiting for the tooth fairy to leave her a surprise. But she also takes her time, tonight she said she wants to wait until we are back in Edmonton to place it under her pillow. 

I love that even in this day and age where kids her age are so advanced, that she can hold on to her childhood so passionately. I love that even though I came close to ruining it all for her years ago when we ended up at the wrong Mall, when we were meeting friends to take pictures with Santa, and then rushing over to the right Mall, that though she was very confused and surprised to see two different Santas she was able to continue to believe in the magic of the season. 

Tonight I’m reminded of the beauty that can still live in our hearts and project to the world around us. If we can hold on to magic and goodness, why can’t we spread it like wildfire? We can at least try. I’m proud that Ana María is my daughter, that she’s innocent and pure, that she believes in all things good and though this world is backwards and scary at times, that there is beauty in our world, and it lives in the heart and souls of our precious children. 

These lyrics are so powerful for me tonight...

“I still believe in Santa Claus, maybe that's just because I'm still
A child at heart,
And I still believe in old St. Nick, but then again maybe that's the
Trick we need, we need to retreat to a world of make believe.” I still believe in Santa Claus by NKOTB

New Year’s Day

I’m not a big New Year’s resolution kinda girl. I’m not into doing anything every single day. I don’t really like to commit to challenges all the way. I’m also not good at doing something specific each day. I’m more of a practical ‘I know what I’m capable of doing’ kinda gal. This year like every year, I will try to be more patient, have more peace in my life, be more content and happy with the cards we are dealt. I will declutter, like I do each year and though I signed up to this “challenge” I know I won’t follow it as closely as it says, it’s not that I don’t like following directions, it’s just that I’m more of a ‘go with the flow’ kinda girl. 

Some days the girls may require more attention or I may just want to call it a pj day. I’m not structured to follow things on a daily basis. I’m not sure I ever was, whether I may forget or whatever the reason, I simply know, acknowledge and accept that I’m just not made that way. Even when it comes to prayer, I sometimes forget to pray before a meal and the girls will remind me, or prayers at night with the busyness of the day, Greg may have to lead in prayer. It’s funny because prayer is natural to me, but that’s just who I am.

For better or for worse. It’s truly a miracle I have dinner ready for the family each night. 😂