I never thought this day would come. No, not the day when they told me my baby had a heart defect. No, not the day when they told us more than likely this heart defect was associated with Down Syndrome. No, not the day when I cried myself to sleep thinking about what life would be like for my precious baby. No, not the day when we took ultrasound after ultrasound and lots of testing.
OK, maybe the day when the doctors asked us if we knew what we were doing, telling us if we were to terminate our pregnancy to decide before week 22. Maybe that day when the doctors treated my pregnancy, my sweet baby, like a piece of paper you could just throw away in the garbage!
No, not that day I went in for a check up only to hear our precious baby would be born on that beautiful day. No, not everyday when she is beautiful, happy and seems healthy!
No, not that day when she pulled herself to a sitting position holding onto my thumbs her second day of life, that day when she rolled over at six weeks old or when she said her first word.
No, not that day that had to come when she had open heart surgery. Or all those days that she had echoes and ECGs to make sure that the surgery had gone well.
Not that day when she smiled, or laughed, or cried. When she rolled to get her toys or when she sat and scooted for the first time. When she stands in her crib by herself and says mama each day! When she signs and communicates so well.
Maybe those days when we get those weird stares, when people look at my beautiful daughter then look at me then turn away quick and pretend they weren't actually looking at us.
No, not those days when I get how cute, and sweet my baby girl is, and how some flock to see and talk to her. I love those moments!
No, not those days when my older daughter pushes my younger daughter on the swing. No, not those beautiful days when we go for strolls or those days when we go on family bike rides. No, not those beautiful times that we share together like a "normal" family.
But today when someone asked me what side effects this "disease" of Trisomy 21 caused, yes today when a lab technician asked "don't they tell you when you're pregnant about Trisomy 21?"
Today, when I felt sorry for another human being for being unaware of life beyond "normality." For not having the privilege to know and love someone like my loving daughter, someone who shows me love in ways I didn't even know were possible!
Today I thought of those words a dear friend said "I wish every family had a loved one with Down Syndrome," and how amazing that sentence is. How I feel like people who don't know what life is like with my sweet baby, are missing out on this angelic piece of heaven.
I've known how lucky I am to have been given this unique gift from God and to be in this "secret society" filled with love, the moment I met my baby girl, when she looked up at me with those wondrous eyes.
I wish you understanding, true love, happiness and most of all the gift of knowing and loving an angel here on earth with Down Syndrome! Happy Down Syndrome awareness month!