Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Waiting for you






The next few months were also sort of a blur, we found out that the heart defect, thank God, would not stop my baby from being born, but that it was related to Down Syndrome. Panic and fear set in. I had met a little girl with Down Syndrome when I was very young, she followed me around, and was so sweet, but since she could not talk I didn't know how to communicate with her and I was afraid I would do or say something wrong in front of her. 

Fast forward thirty years later, I was told I would give birth to a baby girl with Down Syndrome. First thought that came to my mind? How will I ever be able to communicate with my own baby? 

I honestly had no idea, so I prayed and pleaded with God to miraculously cure my baby. I begged for a healthy and normal child. After all, He's Almighty, and if I believed enough He would answer my prayers.

Months came and went filled with fetal echocardiograms and testing. Results were still the same! I went to prayer groups, healing Masses, I spoke to my priest about all my thoughts, he reassured me she would be perfect, he is deaf and grew up with people with disabilities, he told me some of his best friends had Down Syndrome, we had prayer lines so incredibly connected that even the Pope himself prayed for our sweet baby! 

I didn't read books or go to the Down Syndrome society, I did however, as a fluke found a friend from high school who's baby girl was diagnosed with Down Syndrome when she was born. He connected me to his amazing wife, who has become one of my dearest friends. I spent hours crying and talking to her, it brought me comfort to hear about her experiences and her contagious love for her sweet angel on earth. 

My family was on speed dial as usual and I talked to them none stop about all my concerns, my pleas, my anxiety, my dreams, my hopes and my baby bump! I faithfully took pictures each week of my growing belly. With all this love and support, I got through those tough months, moments, and hours of waiting to meet our precious one. 

Her kicks were strong from the beginning, I felt her early on when I thought it wasn't possible, but it was her! Telling me she was with me through it all, we were going through this journey together! She  definitely wasn't on her own and neither was I. We were one! She, growing inside me and I, providing her home. 



I bonded, I already loved her since day one, since we dreamed about her, since we prayed for her, since she became our dream come true. She already had my heart, and I had her heart beating inside me. 

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